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The Return

I have to say as a Canadian we are truly blessed and fortunate to be given a year off . Not only is it to care for our precious gift, but also be able to take cake of ourselves. Labour and delivery is a memorable event unfortunately it does leave it’s scars, whether it be scars from a c-section of the traumatic emotional events that impact you. Nevertheless, it is the one event  where we wait 9 months to meet the love of our lives for the first time. It is during this time where we really learn the definition of a mothers unconditional love we will have for our child.

The first couple of months are the roughest. The lack of sleep,energy and often times lack of food will have you definitely wondering if you can do this. But eventually baby does sleep (at nights) and slowly but surely things start to get better. You start to learn more about your child and distinguish the diffrent types of cries. Or how  a scrunched up face usually follows with a poopey diaper. You listen and smile to the cooes and laughs, and fall in love with them more and more each day. The  more they grow the more you learn . You get to introduce them to food and watch them conquer milestones. You meet other moms and you watch their child grow along side your own. But as the saying goes, all good things must come to an end.

And just like that the year flew and it was time for me to go back to work. I went back to work two weeks earlier just because I had found another job and it was to good to pass up. My immediate thought was I was happy to return back to work. And it wasn’t because I wanted to get away from my daughter. Let’s face it, living off of 55% of your salary is not fun. You have to be really good at budgeting your money, because it goes by so quickly. So in that regards, I was happy to go back just so i can go back to a full income.

October came and my boyfriend and I  made the decision to have my aunt look after her. Which is a decision I don’t ever regret. Your family  will take care of their own and go above and beyond.  Which was definetly the case, there are thing your family memebers would do that you wouldn’t get from a daycare. In  my case by the time I finish work and pick up my daughter, my daughter is bathed and in her jammies. All I have to do is feed her dinner,  brush teeth read a bed time story and then put her to bed. And let me keep it real, it helped us cut costs of  full time daycare, which in Toronto is no joke. Full time Daycare can start as low as 1,300$ and go as high as 2,500$ for Infant, and that’s per month!  As they get older the price drops, but  if you have a baby your essentially paying for a second mortgage.

Two weeks prior to me returning back to work I figured it was best to begin transitioning.  Now, my daughter doesn’t warm up to people easily she would cry when people she didn’t know wanted to hold her (she still does, but it’s getting better) .

The first day I would stay with my aunt for an hour and then leave her for an hour . On day two I would stay with her for two hours and leave here there for two hour . Each day I would increase it by an hour . By week two I would leave her there each day in increments of an hour  so by the end of the week she would be there for a full 7 hours. Did she cry, yes. Was it hard to hear her cry? You bet your little touchie.  But I knew it needed to be done so by the time I started work she was now set in her routine. That the key word routine. For the most part, kids love routine so any time you disrupt their schedule you can be sure to hear their discontent.

So how long did it take for the crying to stop? It took her two months for her to finally realize this will be the new normal. What’s great is that she has a playmate as her younger cousin is  playing with her while she’s there .

I would be lying if I told you the process was easy, because it wasn’t.  It was hard hearing your child crying out for you. It really broke my heart. I spent one year with this little girl. My first born! In the perfect world where money isn’t an issue and the bills are paid, I wouldn’t go back to work. I would focus my time on being a mother and raising my little girl. Unfortunately  that isn’t the case and it make me sad that I am no longer there to watch my little one grow. Before I know it she’ll be talking full sentences and I’ll be wondering where did the time go.

I know for right now I went back to work to provide for her .So , whether it’s extra-curricular activities  or buying toys and clothes , I can give that to her.

So to all you mothers that are getting ready  to head back to work. Yeah I know it sucks but always remember  your doing it for them.  It will be an adjustment  not only for baby but for you as well. So if need be , cry. But I promise it does get easier and it will get better.

-M-

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